THE GATER'S DEMON DUCK
That's right, a Demon Duck. I figure I've never seen an Evil Duck before, so I'll create one myself.
Just look at this fine piece of Demon right here. He's larger than the average Aquatic Bird, with eyes that know and see all. He proudly sports my name, and a little reaper that I branded on him.
Yes, the Demon Duck has many uses. Aside from being forever at my service, he's a good listener and can really comfort you when you're feeling blue.
ATTENTION PARENTS: The Demon Duck can be used as a powerful aid in getting your kids to shut the hell up. Just print out a picture of the Demon Duck, show it to your kids, and tell them that if they aren't good little boys and girls that The Gater will sneak into their rooms late at night, and let loose the Demon Duck on them.
If you wish to have a Demon Duck of your very own. Just send me 5 dollars and I'll write you a letter saying,"THE DEMON DUCK IS THE ONLY ONE OF IT'S KIND! STOP ASKING ME FOR ONE DAMMIT!"